But I Don't Want To Wear Underwear!!! | Piggy Makes Bank

But I Don’t Want To Wear Underwear!!!

For the past couple mornings, my youngest and I have had a disagreement about his attire for school.bigstock-A-man-decides-that-life-is-wha-33761066

For TEN whole minutes he stands in front of me, tears streaming down his face because he doesn't want to wear underwear. Every morning I help him get dressed.  I sit with him standing in front of me, said underwear in my hands ready for him to step into but he just keep repeating the mantra of

But. I. Don't. Want. To. Wear. Underwear.

I listen calmly the first few times repeat back to him that I understand his fear of underpants but he must wear them to school.  Then I go into all the reasons WHY he needs to wear undergutches to which he answers BUT I DON'T WANT TO WEAR UNDERWEAR!!!

That's when I bring start counting and he starts negotiating and crying and sniffling and I tell him that he WILL wear underwear or I will spank his butt.  Finally, he relents but only after I've promised to take him to McDonald's for a Happy Meal if he wears them all week.  He's happy, I'm happy and I'm sure his teachers are happy his butt crack isn't showing when he bend's over.

Do you know why he doesn't like to wear underwear?


It didn't hit me until after he was dressed and on his way to school that he really is a lot like his mother. There are times when I don't want to do something because, ultimately, it's just darned uncomfortable. But the same arguments I used to get him to wear the darned things hold true for the things that hold me back.

Things I uttered this morning in my frustration to get underpants on my boy:

  • What if you have an accident?  It will fall out of your shorts instead of being stuck in your underwear. (REALLY makes you want to wear underwear, doesn't it?)
  • You have to cover the essentials.  You don't want to get pinched.
  • You don't want to get sand everywhere when you're on the playground.

His arguments right back to me:

  • It hurts
  • It pinches
  • It's too tight
  • I like the freedom (I'm paraphrasing but essentially that's what he meant)

You know what I ended up telling him to get him to wear his underwear?

I said, “Put on the underwear.” He said, “But…..”. I said, “NOW!”  He said, “But I don't like underwear!” with a sniffle and I said, “NOW!”  Then he said, “OK, but we're going to go to McDonald's right?”  to which I replied, “Of course, but you have to wear your underwear all week.”

He put them on, complained a little and then after a few minutes he was used to them.

The little lesson I learned this morning was that I need to listen to my own advice.

I need to put on the uncomfortable.  Suck it up and just do it- confident that after a few minutes (or so…) I'll get used to it and it will become comfortable. Then I can reward myself for a job well done – or at least – done.

I think I need a sign above my desk as a reminder that reads:


What are the things you're avoiding because it's just too uncomfortable?  Don't let them hold you back any longer!  You deserve better and I promise that it only hurts for a little while.


This morning he put his underwear on without incident.  It only took 2 days of powering thru the tears to get used to the idea.  So, today, I challenge to you take a chance and do something UNCOMFORTABLE!

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Patti Winker - January 29, 2013

Well, this was a laughing-so-hard-I-started-sputtering-and-coffee-came-out my-nose story!

“fear of underpants” ??? THAT is precious and just way too funny. Okay, here’s my ‘Poor Baby’ to your little guy. Now, back to laughing. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yes, I have my own “fear of underpants” moments, hours, days, months, years…. Thanks for the reminder that we just have to put on our underpants and deal with it. And yeah, I’d hate an “accident” to just be on the loose. Dang this was a great post, Tracy! Thanks!

Kelly McCausey - January 29, 2013

Have we ever introduced the man child to a pair of boxers? (Do they make boxers for little boys?)

And yes, I realize I miss the point of the post here LOL!

    Tracy - January 30, 2013

    The boy wears Hanes soft waist boxer briefs in a size larger than he normally would just so they feel nice & comfy.
    We tell him he has to wear them to school & church. LOL I swear he stayed naked until he was 2!

Loretta - January 29, 2013

I’ve had similar “you need to wear some underwear” conversations with my youngest. When Ethan was little he refused to wear regular briefs, even they had Spiderman on them, he would only wear the boxerbriefy style.

Cassie Black - January 30, 2013

Well, my son is totally opposite. If underwear was all he had to wear he wouldn’t care. He runs around the house all day in his underwear. Of course, if he goes outside he puts his shorts on. But, inside the house, he is almost always in his underwear. Comes home from school, strips down to just underwear just about everyday. I don’t fight with him, I just let him do it-what good does it do to fight? He does know when to wear clothes and when it doesn’t matter.

Tina Landa - February 20, 2013


You completely cracked me up when I read this today! I totally get it though who wants to do something uncomfortable!!!! Not me, I guess it comes to the point of just doing even if we are uncomfortable to get there!

Have a great day and thanks for the story!!!

Paul B. Taubman, II - February 21, 2013

ok – I cannot even comment on this one. I just gonna say that a Mom will never understand what it is like for a guy to wear underwear. I guess the best analogy is that a Dad will never really understand what it is like to wear a bra.

Just sayin’…

Be Well.

Lisa M - March 21, 2013

Your post is laugh out loud funny and reminds me of a similar “sock” fight I had every morning with
my daughter. But Paul is right wearing a bra is uncomfortable, but we all do it (when we have to).

Hope your luck holds !

Robert - March 21, 2013

Hi this was a funny read.

Have tried a different style of underwear. Briefs are very uncomfortable. Maybe try some boxer briefs. Sometime a different stle of underwear may change mhe discomfort. You may just have to be coaxed into a Happy meal anymore.

Vicki - March 28, 2013

A couple things come to mind ……..

the bra is now only worn when I leave the house (I am retired).

one might reasonably question “why” underwear?

zipper protection for guys – yeah
genital coverup for girls wearing dresses- yeah
laundry saving – as it is less trouble to wash underwear than it is to wash jeans – sort of

so what am I forgetting here that makes underwear worth the struggle???

Jessica - March 28, 2013

I really do appreciate the parallels made here however I really think this is one of those things that falls under that heading of “Does it really matter?” and “Pick your battles”. My oldest hated underwear. Since I let him dress himself he was the boss of this particular area. One day at school (1st grade I think) he climbed a fence and ripped the bottom in his shorts. He has worn underwear ever since – although for several years they were always backwards! 😉 My younger one is a bit of a different story in that if he doesnt wear underwear he stands kinda funny- lol- so I’ll quietly point it out and he will go take care of it.

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